Changes: The Last Meeting

The last few meetings with Jacob were incidentally the ones where I got to know him the best. In fact, he even shared a bit from his past with me. When I asked him what he did in Korea, he told me that he was a Christian pastor at a church. I was shocked when I heard this, because he does not exactly seem the type for a pastor; I kind of imagined he would be a businessman from first impressions. I did not really know why he wanted to come to America to learn English. This struck me as odd because even though I had many meetings with Jacob this semester, I never really asked him why he was here. He told me that is learning English because it is the main language of Christianity. He thinks that if he can learn about the Christian faith in in English, its "native language", as he puts it, it will help his understanding of it and allow him to become a better pastor in South Korea. I was truly impressed with this and I think it is so cool that he is doing this. It is not an easy thing to leave your native country and learn a new language to further your religious belief.
Not only that, but Jacob is a dedicated father from what he has told me. His kids love animals, so he bought season passes to the Fort Worth Zoo. Every Saturday, instead of sitting around taking time for himself, he dutifully brings his children to the place they love best- the zoo. I think he took them there for five or six weekends in a row. That is some real dedication right there. Even when I went to the zoo a couple of weekends ago, I saw him there and we started talking. He introduced me to his wife and kids, and he looked really happy to see a friendly face. That was just a really cool experience.
Another eye-opening experience was when I asked about Sohee and Angie, two of his friends that had come to the meetings with him before. Jacob told me that Angie is back in South Korea and that Sohee is pregnant. I knew there had to have been a reason they had stopped coming to speak English with me, but I had just assumed that I was a bad teacher. It was really cool yet depressing to realize that people do change. I was a little sad because I knew that I would likely never see either of them again, but happy at the same time because life goes on.

Food and Friends

My next two meetings with Jacob were eventful and low stress. The week before, I had promised him that I would take his friend Sohee and him to Dutch's. When I asked if they had ever had a hamburger before, they replied that they had only had McDonalds burgers and that they were not good at all. I vowed that Dutch's would be better, and they happily agreed to let me take them there.
When we first arrived at Dutch's they had no idea what to order, so I just got them a regular burger, hoping that they would enjoy it. As Jacob bit into his burger I could see that he liked it. He said that it was easily the best burger he had ever eaten. Relaxed and optimistic with my success, we spent the rest of the meeting time talking about just about everything. One thing I noticed was the effect eating food had on our conversation. It really helped the flow and quality of the topics we talked about. I think that just eating in general is a good way to break down cultural barriers. Enjoying food is universal, and it forms a bond between people when you eat together. I was thinking about this connection while I was at Dutch's and we were finishing up our burgers. When Sohee said that we definitely need to come back to the "good burger place" as they called it, I knew my goal in connecting with them that week had been a success.
The very next week, we went to a new Korean restaurant. It was called "Korea BBQ House" and it was located off I-20 in a little strip mall. I didn't really know what to expect, but Jacob told me it was delicious. When we first got in, I realized that I stuck out like a sore thumb- I was the only white person in there. Amidst curious stares from the other customers, we made our way to a table and sat down. I asked Jacob and Sohee what they recommended for me. They told me that the spicy chicken was good, so I decided to order that. While we were waiting for our food, Jacob noticed some Korean paintings on the wall and explained to me that they were wearing traditional Korean clothes. It was interesting sort of see some of the culture through art. When the food came, Sohee urged me to try a dish called Kimchi. I was feeling a bit adventurous, so I said sure. It was actually really tasty! As it turns out, Kimchi is really pickled cabbage. This shocked me because I've had cabbage before and it did not taste nearly as good as this did. The spicy chicken was also really good. I came out of that restaurant grateful for my conversation partners for taking me there and pleased with myself for trying new things. It was cool to not just hear about Korean culture and see it, but also to be in it, eating what they eat.

Car Trouble

My next meeting with Jacob occurred at Barnes and Noble again. I was excited because I had already made friends with Jacob, but a little nervous because during the previous meeting Jacob had told me he was bringing a friend. But I had nothing to fear, for she was really nice and friendly, as Jacob was. After introductions were made, I learned that her name was Sohee (pronounced Zoe, but with an S), and that she was also from South Korea. Like Jacob, she is quite a bit older than the average college student, being 29 years old. She does not have any children but lives with her husband, who works for LG. Jacob was always teasing her about being super rich. It was interesting seeing them interacting together and talking. By having another friend there, I think it gave each of them confidence and allowed them to relax and be themselves. I remember last meeting when we were each asking pointed questions about one another's lives. This meeting was a lot different in the sense that the conversation just kind of flowed. One person would tell a joke and the others would laugh and then another topic would be brought up. It just kind of worked; there were no forced questions or awkward pauses. Another way that having a fellow countryman present helped was in dealing with the communication issue. There were a couple times where Jacob did not know the right word to use and asked Sohee in Korean; she was able to help him out in communicating with me. Overall, it was cool to be able to just talk with two people from a completely different part of the globe and just laugh and talk about everyday things. One of the conversation topics was the World Cup this last summer, in which we discussed who we thought should have won and our favorite players. This was a relaxed conversation, and I really enjoyed the meeting this week. I was sad to see them leave when it was time to go. Little did I know that I would be seeing them again that same day but in a completely different context.

Later that night, at around 5:30, I got a desperate call from Jacob telling me that he was having car trouble. Sohee and he picked me up in front of the BLUU and we drove over to his car. Apparently, on his way to school that morning, he had run over a piece of wood on the highway. When he got back to his car to leave, he realized that both tires on the driver's side were completely flat. He needed my help to call the insurance since his English wasn't very good and they could not understand him on the phone. So I called up the insurance people and they said that they would send a tow truck out there in about an hour. During that hour, I was introduced to another one of Jacob's friends, Angie. Angie is 19 and is a student at TCU. She is also from South Korea, and always bums rides off Sohee, since they live close to each other. After waiting for an hour, I got a call from the tow truck driver asking where we were. I told him that I would wait on the corner of Stadium and Bellaire for him. Half an hour goes by and I see nothing. I called him again asking if he was close and he told me that he went by that intersection at least 10 times and saw no sign of me. Then, he realized that there are two Stadium/Bellaire intersections and that we were at the two different ones. When we finally loaded the car onto the tow truck, the only issue that remained was where to take it. Jacob wanted to take it to the Discount Tires on Berry, but by that time it was already closed, and he would have to leave it there overnight. Both the driver and I strongly disagreed with that idea, due to the crime intensity on Berry at night. We finally convinced him to take it to the closest Wal-Mart, where he could get tire service in the morning and still be safe to leave it at night. That being done, I said goodbye to my friends and went to the BLUU to get some food before it closed. This experience was totally unexpected, but I am glad it happened. I was honored that out of all the people to call, Jacob called me to help, and I was just happy I was able to help. I felt that it had been a successful day with my (now multiple) conversation partners.

The First Meeting

When I first realized that I had to meet with a student learning English at TCU, I was a little apprehensive. I didn't really know what to expect, what we would talk about, or how to contribute to his comprehension of the language. Little did I know how rewarding an experience it would truly be. As I walked into Barnes and Noble the to meet with him, my first problem arose- finding him. All I knew was that his name was Chanhong Ji and that he went by the English name of Jacob. After wandering the store for a few minutes, I finally spotted a middle-aged Asian man. While I was watching, he got out a piece of paper, wrote "Chanhong Ji" on it and held it up. This was a real shocker to me. I had assumed that he would be the typical college age, around 20, but Jacob was definitely not. Thus, the first issue of finding my conversation partner was resolved.

After the introductions were made, we sat down at a table at the bookstore Starbucks and began talking. At first, I thought it would be difficult to hold a conversation with him, but it really wasn't. He was easy to talk to, but sometimes he would pause and think about what he had to say and translate it in his head before he spoke. I was actually impressed at how good his English was, since he had only moved here last May. As we spoke, Jacob started telling me a little about himself. He is 34 years old and moved to the US from South Korea to learn English. Jacob has three children: John, 7; David, 4; and Grace; 2 plus a wife who all live about 15 minutes from campus. I then told him about where I am from and he was interested in the geography of Texas, and graciously accepted the crudely made map that I drew.

Our conversation turned to how he likes TCU, and Jacob said that he liked it a lot. He admitted to me that while he was at the rec running on a treadmill one day, he flipped to a TCU football game. But he was sad and frustrated because he did not know the rules of football. Suddenly, his face lit up as he asked if I could teach him about football. I could not refuse such a hearty request, so I began teaching him the rules of football as best that I could. This was somewhat difficult, since I was dealing with someone with just a basic grasp of the language, so I could not use typical football terminology like downs or interception. Instead, I told him that each team has four chances to gain 10 yards and if they do not, the other team gets the ball. I used simple concepts like that to express what the game was all about, and whenever he did not understand something he would stop me and ask me to explain again. In the end, he told me that it was a lot clearer to him, and I suggested he take the notes I had given him and watch a game over the weekend to see if he understood what was going on.

This was really interesting an eye-opening experience for me because there were some things that I had always taken for granted. It was strange to me that someone out there did not know the rules to football, since it is extremely popular in America. I was reflecting on these thoughts as we finished up our conversation. Jacob then told me that he had a friend and asked if she could come to speak with us next week. I said sure and he left to do some studying in the library, leaving me to marinate in my thoughts. Overall, the first meeting was a great experience and I cannot wait for next week.

Get a Seeing-eyed Dog

In "Get a Seeing-eyed Dog", Ernest Hemingway addressed the issue of becoming handicapped and the different emotions and perceptions it entails. The man, Philip, was recently blinded by an unknown cause, and his wife or girlfriend is taking care of him. This story really focuses on the points of view from both the invalid to the world and the world to the invalid.

From the text, we can see that the woman is entirely devoted to Philip and does not want to leave him. She wants to be there for him, partly because of her love for him but also because of sympathy. However, I think the major reason that she stays is because she feels sorry for him, pitying his current condition. She feels it is her duty to stay and take care of him. This is represented by the woman trying to be more like a nurse, getting him drinks and prompting him to remember things, and acting less like a lover. They were once equals, but now the fact of the matter is that they are not. Whether she wants to or not, she looks down on him, not in a condescending way, yet still as an inferior, someone needing to be taken care of. In her eyes, he is an invalid now, and no matter how hard they try to act normal, nothing will ever be the same. In the woman's defense, who can blame her for the way she acts? I think it is a universal aspect of behavior in which we do not treat people with disabilities with the equality that they want to be treated. It is wrong and unfair to do, but it is in our nature. It is these barriers that this couple in the story are struggling against.

Philip realizes this and resents the fact that she stays because she feels sorry for him. Even though he wants her there to love him and to be his eyes on the world, Philip knows he cannot keep her there with a clean conscience. The idea that he would be holding her back caring for him day after day during the prime of her life is unbearable to him, and he knows he can't do it. In the words of Philip, "I've got this now for the rest of my life and I must figure out ways not to destroy her life and ruin her with it." All he wants is to be treated like an equal, yet her sympathy constantly reminds him that his handicap is indeed a barrier between them, and there is nothing they can do about it. He feels his only option is to send her away, not just for her own sake, but for his as well. Philip wants to be a person again, and there is no way he can do that with her around, helping him, making him feel helpless. I believe that though neither Philip or the girl will say it aloud, they both want to be separate, but they will not act on it, partially because of how they think they should act and behave, and thus will continue living together unhappily.

"A Cat in the Rain"

When I first read “A Cat in the Rain” by Ernest Hemingway, I was struck by how much dialogue there was. This made it difficult, or at least more challenging to interpret or completely understand the story. It starts out in Italy with a wife and her husband, George, in their hotel room facing the sea. The wife sees a cat huddled under a table outside in the rain, and she becomes determined to save it. When she goes out to rescue it, she discovers that it was not there anymore. She returns to her room dejected, only to be surprised by a knock on the door. It is the maid holding the cat from outside, which she says is from the padrone. I thought that it was quite obvious from the lack of interest and non-personal responses from George that the couple’s marriage is starting to crumble. She notices and begins to like the old man at the front desk of the hotel, because he “made her feel very small and at the same time really important.” She, like everyone, wants to feel special and loved and she gets that feeling from the old man. The wife relishes this feeling since her husband, George, is disinterested in her. The conversation she and George have concerning her hair is also important. She likes the idea of letting it grow out, but he says he likes it the way it is. George can be seen as controlling his wife, not letting her do what she wants, either with her hair or with any aspect of her life. Compare this to the kind old man, who always wishes to serve her. He even sends a maid out with an umbrella so she would not get wet, and truly cares about her well being. The only thing that her husband does is warn her not to get wet. I thought the cat in this story was a symbol for the wife. She is feeling all alone and desolate, waiting for someone to come and rescue her. When she tells George about the cat, or herself, suffering out in the rain, he says that he will get it, yet makes no move to back up his words with actions. His love for his wife is only superficial- he says that he does, but does not really mean it. Meanwhile, the padrone bows to her and treats her like royalty, always making her feel important. He went out and got the cat but did not say anything about it. Here is a man that speaks with his actions, effectively “rescuing” the woman from her unloved state out in the rain. The wife sees this and I think she will leave her husband for the padrone.
All in all, I thought this was an interesting story. There is a lot of meat in it, but just like with other Hemingway works, it is not at the surface; one has to dive down to unearth the true meaning.

Fathers and Sons

“Fathers and Sons” by Ernest Hemmingway really got me thinking about father-son relationships and how we define them. The story is basically Nick Adams coming home to the place he grew up with his son sitting next to him asleep in the car. After a while, Nick starts looking at the corn fields and thinking about his father. We are then treated to a variety of stories about his father that help us to understand who he is. I think that the most important story Nick recalls about his father is the one in which Nick shoots a black squirrel and his father gives him a lesson in things of a sexual nature, namely masturbation and having sex with prostitutes. He tells Nick that terrible things will happen to him if he does those things, such as blindness, death, or venereal diseases. From this we can see that the father has straight-laced morals, or at least pretends to around his son in the effort to make Nick a better person than he was. I thought this was an odd exchange and it revealed more about Nick and his father than first meets the eye.
As Nick drives down the familiar roads, he realizes that everything is different, and in turn, that he has changed as well. I thought the way Nick describes the forest as a “virgin forest” was alluding to his own experiences when he was younger. After remembering the forest, he recalls hunting with his Indian friend Billy and having sex with Billy’s sister, Trudy. I think Trudy wants more out of this merely physical relationship than Nick does. At one point when he is hunting, she puts her hand in his pocket to “explore.” It seems like she always wants him, while it doesn’t really matter either way to Nick. After they have sex, Trudy is preoccupied with the thought of whether Nick and she “made a baby this time.” She seems emotionally attached to Nick, while he is withdrawn. After she asks this, the story states “Something inside Nick had gone a long way away.” He is very put off from her and he is just using her for sex. When the group is off hunting the black squirrels, Billy tells Nick that his older brother Eddie wants Nick’s sister Dorothy. Nick gets extremely upset, or at least pretends to be, shooting off a round with his shotgun. This is ironic, because Nick is sleeping with Trudy, and Billy knows it. In my opinion, he is testing Nick to see what he would do if someone was violating his sister. He decides to go for the shock factor, describing the brutal murder of the perpetrator of his kin. This scares both Billy and Trudy, and strikes both with fear for their brother and for themselves. Trudy eventually calms Nick down, by offering him sex, and Nick gets exactly what he wants. Because of this power to intimidate and get what he wants, he thinks of himself as a man now.
Another important point in the story that struck me was when Nick’s son wakes up and asks about the Indians and his grandfather. Nick wonders how he can explain how he used an Indian girl for sex and how he can only remember her physical characteristics to his son. He realizes that he cannot tell his son without painting himself in a bad light, so he does not tell him about the Indians. Nick’s son wonders why they never visit his grandfather in his tomb, and vows that he will visit Nick in his grave when he dies. I think this defines the relationship between Nick and his son. The son wants to be close to his father and obviously loves and trusts him. Nick remembers how his father was cruel and punishing and how he was scared of him. By remembering this, Nick wants to and decides to be a better father to his son than his father was to him.